Beyond Broken Friendships
by Moonlit Seductress
Summary: The final sequel to "Behind Closed Doors". We continue to follow Remus Lupin during the events of PoA, GoF, and OotP. Has happiness finally embraced Remus and Sirius? Not likely...
1. Return To Hogwarts

Disclaimer: You'd think that by needing a disclaimer, it would sorta prove I don't own anything? Right??

A/N: *shields herself from readers' wrath* Sorry! I know I said about a week. So it was a couple of weeks. But it's a nice long first chapter, does that make up for it? Guys? C'mon! Anyways – here it is, the first chapter of the last installment. I decided not to include the years between All Hallow's Eve, 1981, and Harry's third year – it was just too complicated. And this was hard to do – I didn't want to rely too much on the content of the book, but I couldn't just ignore it. I hope I've done well – but I'm sure you'll tell me. Right? OK. Now – review replies from the last chapter of "Before Stone Walls"!

**Ronda-Silverpaw –** Don't eat it! Thanks for the comment – I'll keep going if you promise not to eat the confetti! I need that, I'm poor and can't afford more! *scoops up slightly soggy confetti*

**Lisande –** I'm sure he'll regret it. Tsk tsk, Remi, you should have listened. Thanks!

**Lunaris –** *hands Lunaris a tissue* Aww, don't cry. They'll be OK. All right, so they won't, but we knew that already. Here's the sequel – thanks for sticking with me so long!

**Eizoku –** *hands Eizoku a tissue* Don't cry, darn it! I'm running out of Kleenex! Thanks.

**FadingSlowly –** Wow. That was…disturbing. *hides* AHH! Here, take it! *throws copy of this chapter* Down! Down!

Right, well, I'll shut up now. I talk too much, don't I?

Beyond Broken Friendships 

By: Hawkeye's Seductress

Chapter 1: Return to Hogwarts

"I'm sorry, Remus, but…you've just missed too many days. Nine days from the twenty you worked this month is just not acceptable. I'm sorry to have to let you go, but it's necessary."

Remus nodded his golden brown head. He really hadn't expected anything less. "I understand," he said softly. "And it's perfectly understandable. I'm sorry that I wasn't more reliable." He reached across the table to shake the older man's hand. 

Out in the bright sunshine, Remus allowed himself one show of temper – swinging back his foot and kicking a particularly large pebble some ways down the road – before taking a deep breath. _Damn,_ he thought. _I needed that job. Just my luck, I nearly kill myself during the full moon and have to take six days off._ He sighed. "Back to the drawing board," he said aloud, heading in the direction of his tiny flat. 

An official looking letter was awaiting him as he approached the peeling door. Slitting it open, he quickly skimmed the paper inside, stepping over the threshold. "Great," he groaned, flipping the letter in the general direction of his cluttered desk. His rent was overdue – again. Just one more thing to worry about. 

A flap of wings at the window caught his attention. A small grey owl hovered there, the _Evening Prophet_ clutched in its beak. He opened the window, retrieved the paper, and shoved his last Knut in the owl's pouch. A glance at the front page caused him to hurl the offending newsprint at the nearest wall, and stomp into his room, ignoring the banging on the floor from the people below. The paper fluttered to the floor, the headline screaming its three-inch tall message. SIRIUS BLACK ESCAPES AZKABAN – THE FIRST EVER BREAK OUT!

* * *

The last of the cornflakes and day old milk awaited Remus at the breakfast table. He sat afterwards, cup of coffee in hand. There was a pop, and suddenly Albus Dumbledore stood near the sink, his usual benign smile on his kind old face. Remus choked on his mouthful of coffee, and had to battle to swallow it instead of spewing all over his former headmaster. "Good morning, Remus," the silver haired wizard said brightly, unaware that he had nearly caused the death of the now ashen – faced werewolf. 

"H-hi," Remus managed, wiping the tears from his eyes, fighting to take in a breath. He succeeded, and inhaled and exhaled quite a few times before he was articulate again. "What brings you here, sir?" he asked, straightening from his hunched over position and conjuring a pot of tea for the older man. 

"Ah, lovely, thank you, Remus." Dumbledore cast a glance around the little flat, his eyes coming to rest on the scattered newspaper. "That, actually, is what brings me to disturb you so early in the morning." He looked back at the pale young man, fixing him with that stare that made Remus feel his very soul was being inspected. "That, and rumours that you were grievously injured during the latest full moon."

Remus squirmed inside himself. He wasn't sure which he wanted to talk about less – his illness and loss of job, or…the other issue. He took the first choice. 

"Yes, I…quite foolishly wounded myself during my last transformation. I needed time to recuperate, and in doing so, I took too much time off from my job at the bookstore." He lowered his head. It was embarrassing that a fit and able man of thirty-three couldn't hold a steady job. But Dumbledore said nothing of Remus' unemployment. "Are you recovered now?" 

Remus nodded. "Yes."

"Very well. Now, I must speak with you on the matter of Sirius Black's escape – "

"From prison. I know, I noticed the paper last night." He laughed hollowly. "How could you not notice? Even the Muggles have. I saw a report about him on the television this morning." 

Dumbledore nodded gravely. "Yes. They, of course, don't know how powerful and hazardous he is. I spoke with their Prime Minister this morning, and told him to warn the public that he is armed and dangerous. As for our people, they are well informed of Black's potential." He stared down into his tea, swirling it gently as though the answers could be found in the amber liquid. "It is unfortunate that they know only what we know." He flicked his gaze back up to Remus, who shrank. "Remus, you must tell me. Does Sirius have any abilities we do not know about?"

_Damn,_ Remus thought. _How can I tell him about Sirius? About what he is, what I made him? I can't let him know that I forced three students to become illegal Animagi – that I betrayed the trust he has in me. Because what if Sirius is using his Animagi powers to…no. No, that's impossible. He must be using Dark magic. _He shook his head. "No."

"Very well." Dumbledore set down his tea. "Now, about your predicament – I think I may be able to help you. I'm sure you heard what became of Gilderoy Lockhart?" Remus snorted. Lockhart had been four years below them in Hogwarts, and even then he'd been a ham, doing anything and everything to get the spotlight on himself. "Yes, I heard."

"Well, I find myself without a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Would you like the position?"

Remus choked. "But sir, what about – what about what I am? How can you employ me?" He cut short his protests at the slightly amused look on the older man's face. "Of course I would like the job, but I hardly think – "

"Then it's settled. Term starts in two days, Remus, so I suggest you get ready. You will have to come on the Hogwarts Express, but I'm sure that will not be a problem, will it?" Remus shook his head helplessly. 

"Excellent." He stood, dusting off his spectacular green robes. "I shall see you on September first." He turned to go, but stopped at Remus's weak, "Professor?"

"Yes, Remus?"

Remus's honey brown head was lowered, his voice plaintive. "Please, sir…but this isn't because of _his _escape, is it?" Dumbledore sighed. "If he tries for Hogwarts, Remus, I will need you. Someone as skilled as you. And someone who knows him."

"Knew him."

The older wizard smiled wryly. "As it may be. Good morning, Remus."

* * *

Remus closed his eyes as the train emerged from the tunnel, the sunlight burning, fiery and bright. They were approaching the station. Soon, the happy children would enter the train, some returning to school, some going for the first time. He smiled weakly, wondering if the child he had not seen for thirteen years would pass his line of sight…and if he would remember. He doubted it – Harry had been just over a year, old enough to recall things and people, but studies done on his young body had proven that his encounter with Voldemort had wiped his memory clean of everything that happened. 

The train slid to a stop, and Remus watched children and parents through the window, loading luggage into the compartments, calling greetings to friends not seen in three months, bidding farewell to family they would not see until Christmas. How familiar this scene – he could easily replace the people outside the window with his own family – replace the child with himself, the friends clustered around with his own friends, the parents with his smiling mother and father. _To return to that innocence,_ he wished silently, turning away and closing his eyes again. The train started to move.

The compartment door slid open, and Remus sensed three bodies enter, obviously trying to be quiet. "Who d'you reckon he is?" he heard a voice hiss. "Professor R. J. Lupin," a female replied, clearly reading his case. 

"How d'you know that?"

"It's on his case."

Remus smiled inwardly. The girl sounded like himself – smart, but exasperated with her friends and their lack of similar knowledge. The boy spoke again. "Wonder what he teaches?"

"That's obvious," the girl returned. "There's only one vacancy, isn't there? Defence Against the Dark Arts."

"Well, I hope he's up to it. He looks like one good hex would finish him off, doesn't he?" Remus could hear the doubt in the boy's voice, but wasn't offended. Indeed, he did look as though he'd been starved most of his life. The boy continued. "Anyway…what were you going to tell us?"

The children's conversation dimmed as Remus found himself once again lost in thought. Memories of his own train rides to school assaulted him at every turn, bringing a lump to his throat and tears to his eyes. But the girl's voice and words brought him back to the present sharply. 

"Sirius Black escaped to come after you? Oh, Harry…you'll have to be really, really careful. Don't go looking for trouble, Harry…"

_Harry? **Sirius?!**_

  
The voice of his best friends' child filled Remus's ears. "I don't go looking for trouble. Trouble usually finds _me._"

Once again, the discussion faded away. Remus found himself wondering. What would Harry look like, now thirteen? And what was that talk of Sirius coming after him? Sirius wouldn't want to kill Harry, would he?

_He already delivered Lily and James to Voldemort,_ the voice in his head disagreed. _Probably wants to finish the job._

He did not realize how late it was until he heard the food trolley arrive. She usually came at one, he thought dully. The air near him moved, and he heard the girl's voice. "Er – Professor?" she said. "Excuse me – Professor?" She was probably likely trying to wake him for food, but he wanted nothing. Remaining silent, he heard the girl move away. "Don't worry, dear." The voice of the food trolley witch met his ears, a voice not heard for many years. "If he's hungry when he wakes, I'll be up front with the driver."

"I suppose he is asleep," the boy said. "I mean – he hasn't died, has he?"

Remus fought back a burst of laughter. "No, no, he's breathing," the girl whispered. Once again, Remus dozed off, waking with a snort as something clattered to the ground. "New teacher," he heard Harry say, the boy's voice tense with anger. "What were you saying, Malfoy?"

Hoping he had inadvertently stopped a fight, Remus relaxed, letting the gentle swaying of the train lull him to sleep…

He felt a movement near him – someone was leaning over him to look out the window. _But wait…why is the train stopping?_

_No_. He felt them, coming nearer, nearer. The light that filtered through his closed lids disappeared, and the confused words of Harry and the others became louder. Two more children entered, banging around noisily, and Remus strained his ears, trying to hear. Finally, the hissing voices were too loud, and he spoke. "Quiet!" Pulling out his wand, he muttered a spell, holding out the handful of flames that appeared. He could see them now – five frightened, wary faces staring at him.  "Stay where you are," he said, voice hoarse. He slowly rose to his feet and made his way towards the door, which slid open. 

_No._ A Dementor stood before him, its rattling breath chilling him to the core. _One of us,_ it called. He felt Harry's scent change abruptly, and the boy hit the floor. Stepping over him, he once again pulled out his replaced wand. "None of us is hiding Sirius Black under our cloaks. Go." 

It didn't move. _One of us,_ it insisted, the rattling breath sounding again. Angry now, Remus muttered, "Expecto patronum." His silver Patronus – a great, shining eagle – shot out of the wand, and the Dementor turned and glided away. Harry's friends were working at reviving him, as he seemed to have fainted. Turning away, he pulled out a large bar of chocolate, smiling slightly. His friends often teased him because he always carried chocolate, but in this situation, it was useful. He broke it, the snap causing the children to jump, startled. He handed Harry a piece. "Here. Eat it. It'll help."

"What was that thing," Harry asked. Remus handed the other pieces to the rest of the kids. "A Dementor," he replied. "One of the Dementors of Azkaban." He crumpled the empty wrapper, tucking it into his pocket. "Eat," he urged. "It'll help. I need to speak to the driver, excuse me…" He walked out into the lit corridor. 

* * *

He returned to the compartment, frustrated and weary. The driver had been no help at all – he didn't know how the Dementors had stopped the train, or how they boarded. Remus felt sorry for the man, though – he had been pale and shaking, as had all the people Remus had passed. He stepped back inside, seeing Harry, chocolate still in hand. He smiled lightly. "I haven't poisoned that chocolate, you know," he said gently. The boy took a tentative bite, watching Remus with faint interest. "We'll be at Hogwarts in ten minutes," Remus continued. "Are you all right, Harry?"

"Fine," the boy muttered, looking down. 

The train slowed again, and the children left quickly. Remus followed more slowly, climbing into a carriage and spying Harry and his friends climb into the one in front. 

He glanced out the window at the familiar castle, with its turrets and towers, windows and battlements. A flood of memories hit him yet again; bringing back the feeling of awe that invaded him every time he laid eyes on the huge castle. He stepped down from the halted carriage to find a pale boy finishing a snide comment to Harry. "Is there a problem?" he asked mildly, gazing at the pale boy and his two hulking companions. _Looks just like Lucius Malfoy – I wonder…_

The child regarded him with such insolence that it made Remus want to hex him. "Oh, no – er – _Professor,_" he said, a barely veiled hint of sarcasm in his drawling voice. He motioned to the huge boys at his side, and they moved away. _Horrible little snot,_ Remus thought, his usual calmness slipping dangerously as he climbed the steps leading to the huge doors. Sliding in quietly, he headed down the hall he knew would lead him to Dumbledore's office.

"Ah, Remus," the older man greeted him, settling his pointed hat. "Good trip?"

"No, actually," Remus replied. "The Dementors stopped the train – I see they're guarding the school as well."

Dumbledore's face darkened. "Ministry orders," he said grimly. "Did they harm anyone?" Remus shook his head. "No, but it is as we feared – they affected Harry quite badly. He passed out." Dumbledore sighed. "As if that poor boy needed something else to set him apart…very well, Remus, we'll be sure to watch out for him."

Remus was staring at the pictures of the former Headmasters, who were smiling and waving at him, clearly remembering him from his many visits to this office in his school years. "It was hard, to see him," he said softly. "He looked so much like James at that age…"

"It will be hard for you, Remus," Dumbledore said gently. "Watching him grow up, discovering the things his father and mother discovered. But worse will be watching him find things they never had the chance to. The years ahead will be hard for us all. But we must not be bitter, for Harry's sake." Remus nodded. 

"Come," the older wizard announced. "It's time for the feast."

Remus sighed, shifting in his seat. It was strange to see the Great Hall from this view – from the teacher's table. He found the Gryffindor table, picking out the seat he had always sat in. Harry's bushy haired female friend occupied it, deep in conversation with Harry and the redhead. Dumbledore's speech drifted in and out of his hearing as he gazed around at the huge room, at things and people he had not seen for many years. Professor McGonagall – not looking any older – threw him a rare smile. Hagrid grinned and waved at him. Professors Sprout and Flitwick also waved, while a look of mild recollection dressed the ghostly visage of Professor Binns.

"…Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher." Dumbledore's voice broke into his thoughts, and he heard the scattered applause that welcomed him. He chose that moment to find Severus Snape among the teachers, and was not surprised to see the look of pure loathing Snape had always worn just for Remus and his friends. He sighed – this would not be pleasant. 

The feast ended, and Remus watched the students file out of the Hall, on their way to the dormitories. _What I would give to be in that line,_ he thought, gazing at the group headed for Gryffindor Tower. _To be returning to that stone room…where it all began. The friendships. The trust. The innocence. What I would give to throw away these painful responsibilities and take up the shielding blanket of childhood once again…to return to the yesterdays._

_But the yesterdays can't come back, the todays are dark with clouds, and we dare not think about the tomorrows… _

~TBC~

Bleah! *wipes forehead* That was hard. I had so much trouble deciding on Remus's Patronus. I toyed with making it a dog, but that was just TOO cliché, even for slash. Then I thought of making it a wolf, but that was still too overdone. I think I did pretty well, though – the eagle represents honour and truth, intelligence and strength – everything Remus is. Not too shabby. Anyhoo, please review – it would brighten my days!


	2. Within These Castle Walls

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. *smacks greedy lawyer hands away from chapter two* I said DON'T!

A/N: Hiya. That was a bit of a long wait, I'm sorry, and this chapter isn't even all that long, so it won't do much to pacify you. But that's ok – some update is better than no update, I always say. Alright, so I never say that. But who's counting? Just a quick note – there are some events in this chapter that may not make too much sense if you haven't read the other two in the series. My advice – go read them, then come back here. And yes, that WAS a shameless plug.  Here are the review replies!

**mystic-angel5 –** Yeah, I never really thought he was asleep. Seems the thing he would do – stay quiet and unobtrusive, but still be there. Thanks! 

**Ashuri chan –** You've read the prequels? Wow – don't I feel special!

**Lisande –** *blushes* Oh, this really did brighten my day. Thanks a bunch!

**Lunaris –** Don't cry too much – I can't afford more tissues. Sorry about the whole pre PoA exclusion thing – maybe I'll work in some flashbacks – just for you!

**Lizzie24 –** Yeah, the dog thing is WAAAAY overdone. Thanks!

**Ronda-Silverpaw –** *puts confetti back in baggie* ok, we have an understanding. I update, and you don't eat my party favours. 

**Nolwe the Lady Dragon –** Yay, you're back! *waves flag with NtLD on it* I haven't checked out "Sleeping Beauty" yet – I've been excruciatingly busy. But I'll get around to it. In the meantime, thanks a lot!

**Rowenna7 –** Well, ok then. Don't brighten my day. As long as you review. Thanx!

**Icelightening –** Actually, I've always found Remus very easy to write for – he and I are a lot alike. My "Which Marauder Are You?" results atone to that. Thanks!

Beyond Broken Friendships

By: Moonlit Seductress (a.k.a Hawkeye's Seductress)

Chapter 2: Within These Castle Walls

Remus woke with a start as his alarm clock pealed, sending its violently loud message across the room. Feeling around for his wand, on the bedside table, Remus muttered a sleepy Silencing Charm, and curled up again, only to jerk fully into consciousness. "Drat," he said, a yawn nearly splitting his head in two. He had left himself only an hour to prepare for his first lesson. He rose and dressed quickly, then sat at the desk to scan his notes from the previous day. Lockhart, he realized, had taught nothing but the art of narcissism, so all the students would need a review on the basic skills. He shuffled through his case, pulling out his sixth year notes on hexes and jinxes, and looked them over, highlighting particular pieces he could use in the lesson. After some time, he looked at the still Silenced clock, and noticed that it was time for him to head for the classroom. His classroom. 

He stepped into the familiar old room, his sharp eyes picking out the cluster of four desks he and his friends had shared. Shaking his head free of memories and regrets, he set his case on the desk and removed his newly laid lesson plan, transferring the neat script to the blackboard behind him. The bell rang out in the hall, and the memorable sounds of hundreds of footsteps echoed through the stone halls, and his own mind. How many times had he walked these floors? How much of his life had been spent in this great fortress. How many recollections had been formed and forgotten, how many promises made and broken, how many friendships fashioned and destroyed. 

The sixth years sat at their desks, placing their books, parchment, and quills on the surfaces and looking up at him expectantly. Clearing his throat, he put on a slight smile and began his first lesson. 

* * *

Glancing at the next class on his timetable, Remus felt a jolt of apprehension. Third year, the schedule read. Harry's class. The older man was eager to see how his best friend's son performed in class. How similar he was to his father…

He looked quickly at his watch, then slipped out of the classroom, and hurried down to the staff room. It was empty, save for Filch's cat, Mrs. Norris. The scraggly creature hissed at Remus – she knew what he was. Suppressing the urge to growl in response, he opened the door of the wardrobe.

There was a loud _crack! _and Remus was suddenly faced with a tawny canine, bearing its dripping teeth and snarling. It watched him out of amber eyes as he stepped back in surprise. "Hang on," he said aloud. "You're wrong. I'm over this fear." But the wolf continued to advance, creeping steadily closer and closer. Angry now, Remus jerked out his wand. "Riddikulus!" he shouted. _Crack!_ The wolf disappeared…

…and Remus found himself face to face with Sirius Black. 

But not the Sirius he saw in the papers, on the news. No, this Sirius was fresh faced and handsome, his dark hair falling into his blue eyes. Eyes that burned with accusations and incomprehension. "Why?" the Sirius – Boggart asked, voice echoing slightly. "Why did you leave me to rot in Azkaban, Remus?"

Remus choked. "Siri, I – NO!" He stabbed his wand at Sirius, once again shouting "Riddikulus!" Another _crack!_, and the full moon glittered above him, in all her hated majesty. Pale and breathing hard, Remus shoved the silvery orb back into the wardrobe, slamming the door shut and falling against it, one shaking hand wiping the sweat from his forehead. "What in seven hells was that about?" he asked aloud, to no one in particular. 

It was a few more minutes before he could put on a smile and walk into the classroom, full of chattering teenagers. He moved to the front of the room, and the din lessened slightly. "Good afternoon," he said. "Would you please put all your books back in your bags. Today's will be a practical lesson. You will only need your wands." He waited as they exchanged surprised looks, but put their papers and books back in their bags. He then led them down towards the staff room.

They turned a corner and saw Peeves stuffing a keyhole with chewing gum. With a mental sigh, Remus slowly approached the floating poltergeist, who looked up, his translucent face breaking into a look of sheer glee. "Loony, loopy Lupin, loony, loopy Lupin," he taunted. Remus rolled his eyes, but managed to maintain his pleasant expression. "I'd take that gum out of the keyhole, if I were you, Peeves," he suggested agreeably. "Mr. Filch wont be able to get in to his brooms." 

Peeves responded with a sputtering raspberry, and Remus sighed, removing his wand. It was a long time since he had seen Peeves, but the animosity he felt for the spirit had not lessened, and now, he was in a position of authority. "This is a useful little spell," he said, in his "teaching voice", as it had been christened many years ago, disguising the vindictive joy he felt at finally being able to exact his revenge. "Please watch closely."

He preformed the spell easily, feeling some small amount of satisfaction as the chewing gum rocketed up the nasty ghost's lucid nose, and thanked one of the students for his exclamation of delight. He then led them the rest of the way, sensing the heightened respect and awe emanating from the children. He opened the door to the staff room and ordered them inside. But they paused just over the threshold, and peering over their heads, Remus saw why.

Severus Snape was seated in a low armchair, regarding the class with an air of disgust and disdain – an air that increased as Remus came into sight. This is really, really not my day, Remus thought, turning to close the door.

"Leave it open, Lupin," Snape said, rising to his feet. "I'd rather not witness this." He swooped out of the room like an overgrown bat, pausing at the door, his voice snide. "Possibly no one's warned you, Lupin, but this class contains Neville Longbottom. I would advise you not to entrust him with anything difficult. Not unless Miss Granger is hissing instructions in his ear." A short, rather pudgy boy, presumably the object of Snape's ridicule, flushed red, and Remus observed how much he resembled Peter. He raised his eyebrows. "I was hoping that Neville would assist me with the first part of the operation," he said, defending the young boy as he'd always done with Peter. "And I am sure he will perform admirably."  Snape's lip curled into that familiar look of derision, and he swept out of the room, closing the door with a perfunctory snap. 

Remus proceeded to explain the lesson to the nervous students, smiling assuredly as Neville stepped forward to confront the Snape – Boggart. He nearly lost it and burst out laughing when Snape appeared in the lacy green dress, but managed to keep control. He watched idly as each student took their turns as he called out their names. Most of their fears were creatures – a banshee, a mummy, things like that. He started at Ron's enormous spider, watching as it rolled across the classroom to come to a halt at Harry's feet. 

Shit, Remus thought. I'm gonna have Voldemort appear in the middle of the room. He leapt forward, praying the Boggart did not materialize as Sirius again – or the wolf. "Here!" he shouted, attracting the creature's attention. Please, please, please…

He was never more relieved to see the moon glittering above him. "Riddikulus," he said, calm and collected. The Boggart turned into a cockroach and fell to the floor. "Forward, Neville, and finish him off!" he encouraged. The boy hurried forward, shouting, "Riddikulus!" There was a flash of Snape in the green dress, but Neville laughed triumphantly, and the Boggart exploded, wisps of smoke fading into the air. 

* * *

Time passed, and Remus was quite surprised at the rumours circulating the school – his was the most popular class? And yet, it seemed real enough. There was never anyone late, all homework was turned in on time, and the students sat with awed expressions, waiting for him to share his pearls of wisdom. It was an amazing and frightening feeling, really. No one – not even the rest of the Marauders – had hung on his every word like his pupils did; hungry for everything he could give them. It was so different from the discrimination he was used to living through. 

But all was not right. This past moon had been particularly awful. Moony could somehow sense his mate, though Remus was almost positive that _he_ was nowhere near the school. But that hadn't stopped the wolf's desires.

He's running, searching, smelling. He's here, somewhere close by. Feel him, smell him. Find him… 

He shook himself from the daydream, aware of a knocking on the door. Rising quickly, he opened it to find a slightly smiling Snape awaiting him. "Come, Lupin." He beckoned imperiously. "Dumbledore wants you. Your dog is back in the castle." He sneered; reveling in the swift paling of Remus's face, but the whispered, "_Sirius_" went thankfully unnoticed. The sneer quickly turned to a look of deep disgust and suspicion. "And I wonder – how did he manage to get in? Inside help, perhaps?"

Remus snarled. "Get out of the way before I tear you apart," he hissed, allowing his inner turmoil to seep through for a second. Then he was off and running, locating Dumbledore with his acute senses. He skidded to a stop in front of the sad looking older man. The portrait of the Fat Lady was empty, but this was not the cause for the wistful expression on the Headmaster's face. No, Remus was quite sure that it had something to do with the fact that the canvas was torn to shreds, chunks hanging off, scraps littering the floor. 

"He was here," he said. It was not a question, but Dumbledore nodded all the same. "Yes," he said simply. 

"Is he still here?" 

"I don't know. That is what you must find out."

He needed nothing more. Once again running, he set out for the mostly likely place. The place the others would never think to look. The South Tower. 

* * *

He arrived out of breath, his heart pounding out a rapid tattoo against his ribs. "Si – Sirius?" The question floated into the crisp Halloween air, but nothing replied. The Tower was empty. Remus dropped to his knees, hands gripping in his hair. He'd lost him again. And he wasn't even sure that it wasn't what he wanted. 

_This night is too much,_ he thought dimly, his face pressed into the cool stones of the floor. _It's been twelve years, to the day, and he chooses tonight to make his appearance – and disappearance. Did he do it on purpose – or has he just lost track of time?_ A cold, mirthless laugh bubbled harshly in his throat. _That would be so like him…_

"But no…not even Sirius could be that cruel," he said aloud._ He murdered his best friends and betrayed you, _his thoughts reminded him._ That's not cruel?_

_Wait. _Something was here – or at least, had been. Not for the first time in his life, Remus wished he could transform at will. Despite his heightened senses, his canine nose was obviously more powerful. _Still..._it was here. Faint, but detectable, different, yet the same. _He was here._

A sob choked from his throat, regardless of his attempts to keep it buried within. "Oh, Sirius, where are you?" His fingers trailed across the expanse of stones until they found what they searched for. One particular rock, worn smooth by three years polishing. A series of grooves decorated its centre, spelling out their message for all eternity. 

**Sirius Black.**

**Remus Lupin. **

Their own private etching into the rock of time. A reminder for those to come, of who they were and what they meant. Perhaps childish, perhaps futile, but it served its purpose. Remus rose to examine the scratches. All these years – they were sure to have worn away by now. But no, the words looked as fresh and recent as that fateful night they carved them out. The night they mated. 

Why?

And then he saw it. It was almost invisible – indeed, if he hadn't had his face so close to it, he wouldn't have seen it. But there it was – a scattering of fine pebbles, with some larger fragments mixed in. Upon close inspection, it was revealed that the words had been scratched out with something less precise than the Cutting Charm they had used. Something like a knife…

Could it be possible? _Could he still care?_

~TBC~

*practicing hypnosis* You will review…you will review…is it working?


	3. The Dangers of Quidditch

Disclaimer: *still practicing hypnosis* I own Harry Potter…I own Harry Potter…*lawsuit appears* Ahh! *breaks trance* I'm kidding! I don't! *lawsuit disappears* Whew…

A/N: Ok, so this was a little bit faster this time, right? This chapter is longer as well, so everyone should be pleased. It was quite hard to write – again, there was a lot of dialogue from the actual book, but I didn't want to rely too much on it. It's hard to get an equal balance. Reviews!

**Lisande – **I know, I know, it was short. I had a few problems with that chapter. But this one is really long! The actual chapter is words! Thanks a lot!

**Akuma Malik –** Glad to have you with me again. Sirius may put in an appearance soon, but I'm not making any promises. Thanks!

**Ashuri chan –** *blushes* Thanks! I didn't think I stuck to the story all that well, but who am I to argue?

**Jenna-chan –** Yay, I'm so happy that my hypnosis working. Thanks!

**Ronda-Silverpaw –** *hides confetti, just in case* It's not that I don't trust you, but…anyways, thanks so much!

**Lunaris –** *stares* You re – read the prequels?! *dies* Wow, my self-confidence just skyrocketed. And thanks so much for your comment about the tower scene – I was afraid it was too corny and sappy; I have a bad habit with that sometimes. Thank you muchly!

Beyond Broken Friendships

By: Moonlit Seductress

Chapter 3: The Dangers of Quidditch

Remus sneezed. Again, he wiped away the rain that trickled down his face. _I probably shouldn't be out in this,_ he thought, watching as the red and yellow players whirled through the storm, diving, turning, streaking by in blurred hues. _My immune system is always weak after a transformation._ But he would not miss another opportunity to watch the son of his best friend play his father's sport.

It came as no surprise that Harry was a natural Quidditch player. The superb way he handled his broom, the sharp dives and soaring heights he reached…Remus didn't know all that much about Quidditch, but he knew enough to recognize talent. And there it was, a scarlet blob on a broomstick floating high above. 

He felt a sharp pang. Up in the air, Harry looked just like James. His dark hair, the team robes, the ease with which he flew. Closing his eyes, Remus drew the well-rehearsed scene from so many years ago. There he was, always in the same position, leaning forward on the bench, his hands clenched, nails digging into his palms as he watched his friends showing off, performing their death defying tricks. Peter by his side, gasping and whooping at the appropriate times, and generally matching Leigh Jordan's commentary word for word. In later years, Lily sat on his other side, her red hair whipping in the wind as she screamed for James to be more careful, voicing the thoughts that Remus had for Sirius. 

The view changed. Flashes of pictures assaulted him. Sirius and James wrapped in an ecstatic embrace as Dumbledore approached with the Cup. Sirius saluting Remus with his Beater's club, shooting him a heart-melting smile. Moony and Padfoot chasing each other across the smooth emerald grass of the pitch, pausing to tackle each other, teasing and playing. An older, sadder Remus standing on the top row of seats, wondering _what_ could have possessed Sirius to tell his secret. Sirius on his knees, pleading for forgiveness as Remus stood, unmovable, staring out at something only he could see.

A roar from the crowd broke Remus's thoughts, and his eyes snapped open. Katie had scored again, putting Gryffindor in the lead, up fifty points. A flash of lightening lit up the stands, and Remus stared. Silhouetted against the dark sky was a huge, shaggy dog, motionless in that top row of seats. He choked as the brilliant light dimmed, and his eyes searched frantically for the dog, but it was gone. He passed a shaking hand over his face. _Was I seeing things?_

He turned back just in time. A hundred Dementors stood on the edge of the pitch, staring up at the players. Remus's mind exploded with the collective thoughts of the evil beings below him. **_One of us!_**

"NO!" He leapt to his feet, but he was not the only one. He spied Dumbledore running out onto the sopping grass, pointing his wand at the figure plummeting out of the sky. Harry, Remus thought desperately. Satisfied that Harry was safe, Dumbledore whirled his wand at the Dementors, and his silver phoenix Patronus erupted from the tip, flying at the dark creatures. They swirled away, melting back into the rain and fog. 

Dumbledore quickly conjured a stretcher, floated Harry onto it, and headed back towards the castle, the rest of the students following behind. 

* * *

"It's not fair, he was only filling in, why should he set us homework?"

"We don't know anything about werewolves – "

" – two roles of parchment!"

Remus frowned. The third years were complaining about the essay Snape had set in his absence, and they were doing an excellent job of it. "Did you tell Professor Snape we haven't covered them yet?" he asked, knowing the answer. Even if they had told him, it wouldn't have made a difference. They all started talking again. 

"Yes, but he said we were really behind – "

" – he wouldn't listen – "

" – _two rolls of parchment!_"

Remus smiled at their indignant faces, though his insides twisted. He hoped none of them had done the essay. Snape had set it for a reason – he was hoping someone would figure it out. And that could prove disastrous. "Don't worry," he said. "I'll speak to Professor Snape. You don't have to do the essay."

"Oh _no_," Hermione exclaimed. "I've already finished it!" Remus blanched. Of course. Of all people to do it, Hermione would have to be the one. And of all the people who might figure it out, she was the most likely. Pushing away his fears, Remus drew the class' attention to the Hinkypunk he had brought, explaining its behaviour. "Lures travelers into bogs. You notice the lantern dangling from his hand? Hops ahead – people follow the light – then – " He let the wispy looking creature finish his thought as it made a horrible squelching noise against the glass of the box. 

The bell rang. As the students scrambled to pack up, Remus called out to Harry. The dark haired boy stood by the desk as Remus covered the Hinkypunk's box. "I heard about the match," he said, leaving out the fact that he was there. "and I'm sorry about your broomstick. Is there any chance of fixing it?" He had heard later of the destruction of Harry's Nimbus, and he knew the hurt the boy was feeling. Sirius and James had loved their broomsticks almost to the exclusion of their partners – almost, but not quite. 

"No," Harry replied. "The tree smashed it to bits." Remus sighed. 

"They planted the Whomping Willow the same year that I arrived at Hogwarts. People used to plat a game, trying to get near enough to touch the trunk. In the end, a boy called Davey Gudgeon nearly lost an eye and we were forbidden to go near it, no broomstick would have a chance." He winced slightly at the recollection. He had been there when Davey had been injured, and remembered the gruesome scene quite vividly. 

"Did you hear about the Dementors, too?" Harry asked, his voice tight. Remus glanced at him sharply. "Yes, I did," he replied. "I don't think any of us have seen Professor Dumbledore that angry." That wasn't true – he had witnessed Albus Dumbledore in more anger than that – the morning he discovered that Sirius had revealed Remus's secret. "They have been growing restless for some time…" he continued. "…furious at his refusal to let them inside the grounds…I suppose they were the reason you fell?"

"Yes," the young man replied. Suddenly, he burst out. "_Why?_ Why do they affect me like that? Am I just – ?" He trailed off.

"It has nothing to do with weakness," Remus said firmly, knowing what Harry must have been thinking. "The Dementors affect you worse than the others because there are horrors in your past that the other don't have." _Horrors so close to mine…_"Dementors are among the foulest creatures that walk this earth," he said, not disguising his disgust. "They infest the darkest, filthiest places, they glory in decay and despair, they drain peace, hope and happiness out of the air around them. Even Muggles feel their presence, though they can't see them. Get too near a Dementor and every good feeling, every happy memory will be sucked out of you. If it can, the Dementor will deed on you long enough to reduce you to something like itself – soulless and evil. You'll be left with nothing but the worst experiences of your life. And the worst that has happened to you, Harry, is enough to make anyone fall off their broom. You have nothing to feel ashamed of." 

Harry was staring at the desk. "When they get near me," he said, voice strained, "I can hear Voldemort murdering my mum."

Remus moved suddenly, wanting to reach out and grasp Harry's shoulder, but he did not. The boy spoke again. "Why did they have to come to the match?" he asked bitterly. 

"They're getting hungry," Remus answered calmly. "Dumbledore won't let them into the school, so their supply of human prey has dried up." He thought quickly. "I don't think they could resist the large crowd around the Quidditch pitch. All that excitement…emotions running high…it was their idea of a feast." He snapped his case shut. "Azkaban must be terrible," Harry muttered. 

_You have no idea,_ Remus thought, but he merely nodded. "The fortress is set on a tiny island way out to seam but they don't need walls and water to keep the prisoners in, not when they're all trapped onside their own heads, incapable of a single cheerful thought. Most of them go mad within weeks."

He was not prepared for the teenager's next statement. "But Sirius Black escaped from them. He got away…" 

Remus dropped his briefcase, but he managed to catch it before it hit the floor. "Yes," he said dully, not really knowing why he was bothering to reply. "Black must have found a way to fight them. I wouldn't have believed it possible…Dementors are supposed to drain a wizard of his powers if he is left with them too long…" _But if anyone could do it, it'd be Sirius, _he thought, a small smile almost touching his face. _He'd do it, just to be different, just to prove he could. And he's done it now. _

"_You_ made that Dementor on the train back off," Harry said, sounding nearly accusing. "There are – certain defences one can use," he answered, regretting the words as soon as they left his lips. "But there was only one Dementor on the train. The more there are, they more difficult it becomes to resist." He tried to change his tune, but the damage was already done. 

"What defences? Can you teach me?" Harry demanded. _Damn it._ "I don't pretend to be an expert at fighting Dementors, Harry – quite the contrary…" But he knew the boy would not relent now that he knew. "But if the Dementors come to another Quidditch match, I need to be able to fight them."

_Double damn it. Well, I've done it now…might as well give in._ "Well…all right. I'll try and help," Remus conceded. "But it'll have to wait until next term, I'm afraid. I have a lot to do before the holidays. I chose a very inconvenient time to fall ill." 

* * *

_Christmas at Hogwarts,_ Remus thought as he noticed the glittering fairies Professor Flitwick had let loose in his classroom. He stepped into his office. _I never thought I'd be back here again during the holidays, but there are places far worse._ He grinned as he remembered Hogwarts Christmases – James waking early in the morning and hurling his pillow at Sirius, crying, "Oi! Presents!", Peter sitting in the middle of a pile of candy, trying to decide what to devour first, and those dark blue eyes that smiled, gazing up at the mistletoe strung about their heads, just as the clock struck midnight. _Merry Christmas, Moony…_

He watched the snow falling outside the window. Many people were outside – there was a fierce snowball fight near the steps, and Remus clearly recognized Fred and George Weasley in the middle, obviously bewitching the snowballs. He snorted with laughter as a random recollection overtook him.

James had formed a perfectly round snowball in December of their sixth year, keeping it cold in a charmed drawer in his bedside table, and taking it out everyday to make sure it hadn't melted. He refused to answer any questions about it, and kept it until a boiling hot day in the summer, when he promptly whipped it around a corner at the first unfortunate person – who happened to be Sirius. The other had forgotten about it, and he wasn't really expecting a snowball to fly at him at fifty miles an hour in the middle of June, so it was accurate to say he was surprised. There had been quite a laugh over that – Sirius standing there, melted snow dripping off his hair as he shouted at James, who was in hysterics. Even Professor McGonagall had approached him, taking five points from Gryffindor, but congratulating him on a fresh new idea. 

Remus turned his attention back to the outdoor scenery, a smile on his face. A couple strolled, hand in hand, along the edge of the Forbidden Forest, and he recalled his own walks, staring out into the dense trees, their bare branches heavy with snow. The smile faltered a bit as he glanced at his watch. It was nearly five o clock…the feast would be starting soon. Unfortunately, so would his transformation. He quickly bolted the door, and removed his clothes, a grudging thanks to Snape forming in the back of his head, as usual. The Potions master never passed up a chance to let on that he was only making the Wolfsbane because Dumbledore asked, and it grated on Remus's nerves. Still, he was grateful, since it did help with the transformation. And, it was a blessing to be able to keep his mind intact. It's almost like when I was with Padfoot, he reflected, ignoring the sound of his bones snapping and reforming. He shut his eyes tightly, and the rush of senses overtook his brain. 

When he opened his eyes, his point of view had changed. He climbed to his feet and padded across the room, rising on his hind legs to gaze out the window again. He could feel the dull pressure of Moony somewhere in the back of his head, but there were no clear thoughts, only a faint buzzing. 

There was a knock at the door. Remus whined, then growled, trying to get whoever it was to go away. Even though he still had a clear mind, he was still a danger – to himself, and anyone who might stumble across him. But the locks clicked open, and Albus Dumbledore stepped into the room, carrying a large tray. He smiled sadly at Remus, who bounded over, licking his hand. "Merry Christmas, Remus," the older wizard said gently, setting down the tray, loaded with sumptuous looking food. "I brought you your share of the feast." 

Remus yipped in appreciation, and Dumbledore scratched him behind the ears. _It may be a bit demeaning,_ he thought dimly, _but it really feels good._ "I am sorry to have you here at Hogwarts for Christmas, Remus," the older man continued. "I know how hard it must be for you, to be here. And I apologize. But castle security is low, because of our reduced numbers, and if Black were to try anything, he might succeed without you here, Remus."

Remus nodded his head, his wolfish amber eyes sad. _Sure, I know I'm needed…_

_…but that doesn't make it any easier._

~TBC~

*singing* Review! Oh, you know you want to! Review! It's the latest thing to do! Oh revieeeeewwww, yeah yeah, revieeeeewwwww, yeah yeah! Boy, I should have a record deal!  


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